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Raising children in the 21st century not a piece of cake

Raising children in the 21st century not a piece of cake

Have been thinking about it for awhile…

When you leave the hospital with your newborn they tell you, “enjoy your baby”, you simply do not imagine you won’t be given an opportunity to enjoy, at least the first year.

The question is not about the baby herself. Basic care is as simple as ABC’s and even simpler. The first weeks are all the chaos and confusion, but then you get to understand your baby’s needs and learn to solve problems without fainting at sight.

And in general, babies are enjoyable.

The main problem, you will soon find yourself passing through a test that never ends.

First, they check if your home is baby friendly enough. Ever heard of any criteria? I haven’t, guess it must be very individual then. At the same time, you as a fresh mom will be questioned for signs of depression and instructed to invite a babysitter from Mannerheiminliitto at the first symptoms of tiredness. It will not happen just once. Many times.

Checks. Checks. Checks.

And be sure babies behave better in presence of a new person – they are just interested in everything that’s new to them 🙂 Once the visitor leaves or you get your baby out of neuvola it’s UAAAAAA! again. In the worst case you end up feeling you’re a bad mother…

With us, it began this summer when a trainee nurse at the hospital took a wrong measurement of the head circumference. If she were right, the baby’s head should have become SMALLER by 2 mm in two weeks. They measured again, got a normal size, however an already worried doctor seldom easily forgets. So, she instructed our neuvola to keep a watch on the head circumference size progress. Okay.

At that time we were still living at the old address. The nurse was reasonable, said babies are many, heads are many, so we’ll measure as normal and not panick too early. Especially when our baby was born small and is still tiny although growing at her own pace quite normally. She was optimistic and relaxed, that made me feel good and I basicly forgot the incident for a while.

Then we moved to another district and changed the neuvola. Our new nurse seems to take pains to look like she cares for children more than their own mothers (and that’s very baaaad man, believe me). The baby is going into daycare at 11 months old – “poor baby”, etc. At first it was just annoying. And now, we enter her room this week for another routine check, her face is already worried, and the first thing she does skipping all talk – bang! – rushes to place the measurement tape around my baby’s head. Do you know what a baby does when her head is touched unexpectedly? – yes, she cries, begins resisting and finally goes hysterical. Which would not happen if the nurse first talked to her nicely or started off by asking how things are etc.

And after that she wants to check the baby’s reflexes: her ability to grab small things with two fingers, her ability to stand on her feet, play, and move around! The poor thing could hardly concentrate :(.

We were not asked any questions on the meals, night/day sleep or anything.  Oh yeah, the nurse had a mission she had to complete no matter what. Wanted to give us an appointment with the doctor this week, I asked for a time next week ’cause we both kinda work daily and are not always available – got another disdainful look.

If I could walk out of the door and never come back again – I would. But in the 21st century world, the state owns your baby and your word or will as a parent  – and same time the baby’s well-being  – is nothing. THEY know better and care more, and you’re just trying to cheat the system and skip your parental obligations.

I might be wrong but I think babies and their parents deserve a better attitude. A healthy baby grows and develops better in a peaceful and stressless atmosphere rather than under too much attention from aside. That does not mean ignorance, just common sense and understanding that you cannot cut a human into a standard shape like a bolt. We all differ, and if a difference is not accompanied with other symptoms the world just has to accept it.

As for us, we’ve studied our options – the odds are our baby is… just a small baby, so we have something to discuss with the doctor next week 🙂

1 comment to Raising children in the 21st century not a piece of cake

  • Max

    This is sad but it is so that EU press on getting everything standartisized. Well, not EU only…
    They more often now accept the laws that limit your freedom. Just like the new law for appartments where you can’t anymore decide what kind of renovation you would like to have, it must be in some standards.
    The Matrix is really that thing that we would all have in some future. Where the human is treated in a way like non standard cucumber growed at the cucumber plant, if it has no standard size or shape this is “broken” cucumber. We all know what happen to “broken” cucumbers…

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